**”Slippery When Wet!” is a Royal Tiara Grrl Publication and is written by Jessica de la Davies-an award-winning writer who has written for numerous magazines, newspapers and e-zines.

SLIPPERY WHEN WET! QUESTIONS:
Is it sassy? Yes.
Is it naughty? Yup.
Is it saucy? You bet.
“Slippery When Wet!” is not porn-but is does acknowledge women as powerful, sexual beings. It features both straight and gay characters while taking a hilarious swipe at life.

-If you’re frightened of powerful, sexy women, don’t read the damned book! If you think we’re all going to Hell for writing/reading such a book, you might be right-but read it anyway.
-If you believe that women’s sexuality in the story of Adam and Eve, is the downfall of man then move along and go watch TV.

I wrote “Slippery When Wet!” to challenge traditional media views of EVERY WOMAN-I wrote this novel for YOU!

Wink You In The Eye,
jESSICA de la dAVIES
Novelist/Writer/Bitch
Myspace.com/DaviesDirector *I direct Indy Films.
Facebook.com/JessicadelaDavies-Novelist * I have a Fan Page-join us.
Twitter.com/DaviesWriter *I FOLLOW BACK!

Learning how to Feng shui in a jiffy was something that came naturally to me. It’s just learning how to stop-you see, I have a problem. That’s the first step, right! Just admitting to you good people that I have a tiny, itty bitty problem?

It all started innocently enough. I had just moved and wanted to make my house a home. I was kind of bored and thought it might be fun to learn to Feng shui-so I went to Books A Billion and picked up this “how to” book on the “Art of Feng Shui.”

The first week, I added 88 new ferns (along with one or two more interesting plants;). I became so obsessed with “water features” you would have thought I was an eight time Olympic Gold Medaling Swimmer.

By the second week, I had pushed my California King Bed down the hall and onto the upstairs landing to get it away from my bedroom’s skylight which was stealing my “good karma.” I had turned every piece of furniture on an angle and had mirrors reflecting everything from my stove top to my roof top. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy from lack of sleep. My hands were beginning to shake.

By the end of the month, I had a 3 story “Mermaids Peeing” fountain mounted in my front yard. The neighbors were beginning to talk and things were getting ugly-especially when one nosey neighbor, Mrs. Hendricks, caught me adding a rock garden in her bathroom in the middle of the night.

The next day, my neighbors called an intervention. “Can’t you see what you are doing to our community? We don’t want a swimming pool at the end of our Cul de Sac!” It was with great reluctance that I began attending “Feng shui Anonymous Meetings” on Monday nights. My mentor suggested that I give up the Feng shui in favor of another hobby.

So I took up drinking.

Thanks For Playing Along,
jESSICA De La dAVIES, Ph.d.
Twitter.com/delaDaviesPR
Myspace.com/DaviesDirector
facebook.com/JessicadelaDavies
JessicadelaDaviesPR@WordPress.com “The Bitch’s Blog”

So, I’m trying to post a Myspace comment and after I get done thinking about what I’m going to write…

I have to think about what I am going to write sometimes because I don’t want to be perceived as an UBER fan if I’m just finding out about a band that I’m not familiar with or worse, as a crazed stalker chick.

Speaking of crazed stalker chicks, I was watching this show on TV (FYI-I’m home with the flu-not some lazy coach potato;) called The Secret Lives of Women. I read the word “Secret”, grabbed my Tylenol and I was tuned in. The subject de jour, you ask? YEAH: Crazed Stalkers Chicks (they may have used the word “women” instead of chicks and I’m not sure about the use of the word “crazed” either but f*ck it-who cares)- so anyway, I wasn’t missing this show.

On this show, these “allegedly” crazed stalker chicks all did NOT think they were real stalkers! This one crazed stalker chick-let’s call her “Hot Mess”-not her real name-was a TEACHER. It gets better…she teaches JOURNALISM-seriously-I AM NOT KIDDING. The only way this could get any better is if Hot Mess was a police woman.

Anyway, although she is a convicted stalker, Hot Mess, did not think that what she did-following one of her poor male students everywhere he went-was really stalking him. “I was just keeping track of him,” Hot Mess says.

Pretty funny right? Unless, of course, one of these b!tches is chasing you around the block with a butcher knife in one hand and a camera in the other…

Oh, I got way off track…
So anyway back to my question which is: Why when I get a “letter puzzle” to solve so that I can prove to Myspace I am not a computer (??) and I screw up the puzzle…then why does Myspace give me an even harder one to solve?

If I was too slow to get the first one right due to a bit of “Night Time, Coughing, Aching, Sniffling, Hurry Up And Get Back To Work” Night Time Medicine, what makes Myspace think I’ll get the harder one right?!?

Anyway, I see that another episode of The Secret Lives of Women is about to start. This one is titled: Women With Extreme Beliefs.

Does this mean… Do these women have f#cked up beliefs?

Allegedly…I meant to ask do these women allegedly have f#cked up beliefs. If so, I’m thinking that Hot Mess could be in this episode too.

Where did I put the remote?

Thanks For Playing,
jESSICA De La dAVIES, Ph.D.
Writer/Director/PR
Twitter.com/delaDaviesPR
Myspace.com/DaviesDirector
JessicadelaDaviesPR.WordPress.com The Bitch’s Blog

I cannot think of myself as a writer in the traditional sense – oh, and for the record-I also direct Indy films. I’m just a human being being human-as JD Fortune would say- named Jessica de la Davies. I’m a human who just happens to thrive on writing and directing. Becoming famous is something that I neither want or work for. I write and direct soley as an artist to PROVOKE a response. I get off on writing – isn’t the getting off part enough? I’ve enjoyed writing and directing for the better part of my short time on The Blue Ball – and I seem to have arrived at a soothing rhythmic beat to my writing-on most days;) .

I get off on interacting with other human beings being human, so that’s why I’ve chosen this open time “the information age” to connect with as many humans as I possibly can before I disappear forever into my space. The internet is an incredible tool-it would serve me better if I spend more time on Social Media and less time on being an artist.

I’m on facebook too but think it’s secretly run by Big Brother Corporations who are terrified if people with their own ideas (like me) actually reached the masses-hence the facebook 5000 person limit. Okay, I do NOT really believe that but it sounded interesting, didn’t it? Nevertheless I am on facebook too-just search my name.

I’m off topic now, anyway-is anyone still reading this crap? I wouldn’t be!

I get off on writing and directing as a way to spread intriguing ideas, tempting thoughts and authentic feelings to other human beings being human in an attempt to achieve Nirvana (okay I’m full of sh!t here). I do love the band: Nirvana!

Writing unusual pieces and directing interesting stories is always an activity that can often be confused with the dreaded FREE THINKING MIND that Big Brother Corporations fear. How dare we use our own minds to achieve a FREE THINKING world when Big Brother Corporations has our world set up to exploit human drones and utter mindlessness?

I wrote a novel-Chick Literature. It’s called “Slippery When Wet!” and it’s a SAUCY title for a CHEEKY read. Its main character, Veronica Twist, is quite unique and my novel should serve to entertain those who desire their reading to satisfy their minds’ cravings for being human authenticity.

The novel, “Slippery When Wet!”, is a story about a family that is so real that it couldn’t have really happened-and maybe it didn’t;).

For the past three months, this novel has been floating through The Publishing Establishment-an agent/publishing house system of: I’m not sure this represents us as an agency (I thought they stated that they were looking for something different?); onto: Umm, we would like to return your novel to you but it’s temporarily misplaced and: other Big Brother Corporation bullsh!t. I am on the verge of self publishing, but something in my mind makes me desire the “credibility” that Big Brother Corporation agents/publishing houses offer. “Slippery When Wet!” only took me 7 years to write-that’s a really long time but I do work… I guess I am thinking like a human drone and maybe on the verge of actually becoming everything I hate!

Maybe I should run for Congress or something?

I’m always directing something interesting. I just finished directing The Student CD Project and Cinderella. Next, I have planned an odd reality film that will surely be completely ignored by Big Brother Corporations in the Hollywood establishment, but maybe-if I work my butt off-be embraced in the INDY world of film making. I receive a ridiculous amount of mail each day and I’ll try my best to respond to you.

I am in awe that I live in this “the information age” this LIMITED period in our history that has opened doors allowing us to communicate with thousands and thousands of people across The Blue Ball-communicating what we really think-not what Big Brother tells us to think.

I am grateful for this time of open communication-I’m sure it won’t last.

Oh, and to those of you who think women shouldn’t speak their minds or believe that woman have to play nice. I say-go to He!!.

I write for my generation of women! This novel is for you. My words aren’t meant to reach the ALL – my intention is to inspire you to think for yourself and feel any reaction you want to feel. Any reaction that my writing provokes in you means that I’ve accomplished something with my meager time on The Blue Ball.

Anyway, none of that you just read really matters . . . because the bottom line is: WRITING and CREATING ART.

Embrace me or hate me-I don’t care as long as you’re talking about me!

Oh yeah . . . I am totally full of shit half the time! You can decide for yourself which half is which-as you are not a mindless drone-but you already knew that didn’t you?
Thanks For Playing Along,
jESSICA De La dAVIES
Writer/Director/PieMaker Join me at Twitter.com/DaviesWriter
www.JessicadelaDavies.com

It works for today’s generation of users as it limits the number of characters-it’s a quick scan rather than a full read. In today’s world where both men and women are working outside the home-this generation doesn’t have time to read an entire newspaper or magazine-twitter is perfect.

Twittering enables you to connect with the worldwide community, get the latest business and world news and users appear to be willing to share new technology with their followers (tweets). Join me on twitter at Twitter.com/delaDavies and see for yourself!

Thanks For Playing Along,
jESSICA De La dAVIES
Writer/Director/PopcornPopper